Seldom is it a good idea to discuss problems and disagreements with a third party. This backward mode of communication creates gossip, negativity and rot.

Here are a few things to help when having an uncomfortable face to face.

1. Be humble.
No matter your position, communication and correction is better received with humility.

2. Never attack.
“You are a terrible person because you did this.” Wrong! Avoid personal attacks. The action is usually the problem, not the person. “I’m sure this wasn’t intentional, but when you did X it caused Y?” Focus on the action.

3. Show you care.
If you do the first two, it will open the door to have a conversation. When we communicate, problems get solved.

4. Face your fear.
We all love sunshine and roses, but nothing grows without a little rain. Call it for what it is, embrace it, and step into the fear. If you can have the conversations when they are needed, you can avoid the thunderstorms. 😉

Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself ; and discover not a secret to another:

Proverbs 25:9 KJV

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